I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Randomize