I hate your face
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
