My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
