dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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