He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
