How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
