party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
