really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
