It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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