Got a toothbrush?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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