planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
