haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
