My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I fill condoms, not promises.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize