Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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