tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
