Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
just found out that she named her cat after me.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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