WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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