If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I have aggressive nipples.
Randomize
