We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Randomize
