i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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