Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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