I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
My liver just had a heart attack.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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