just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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