I have demons in me.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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