I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
