It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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