I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
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so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
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Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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