Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
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