i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
soo... how was my night?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
