Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
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