nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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