I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize