How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
