LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
