So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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