You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
