I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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