And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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