I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
