why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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