and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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