Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
