I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Randomize
