all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
