I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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