dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
