You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
