I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
