He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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