if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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