Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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