She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Randomize
