I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
