Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I lost the right to judge tonight
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
