I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
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I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
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You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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