Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize