PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
