Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
