Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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