Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
