I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You may now shotgun with the bride
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
