Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
