Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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