In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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