I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
