dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
